Ravings & Memoires of a Gaijin

Христос Воскрес! Воістину Воскрес! And all that. Yesterday was Easter. Went to church. Scooter has a hole in the gas tank so I had to ride the bicycle. Coming back was fine but going almost killed me. Maybe an onion dome looks cool on the top of a hill, but it really sucks if you happen to be at the bottom of that hill and in need of getting to the top. Oh well........just idle bitching.

Kim Jong Ill lobbed another missle our way....at least he didn't lob it over us. Always worried about a piece dropping off and landing on my apartment.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Humm of the CPU fan

I am convinced that my Law529 class is actually special ed....i.e. the Harvey class. It's not because 9 out of the 10 students are either active military or ex-military, but because dey don' know how to make de coplet sentens or how to get the main point without resulting to a sentence that has more twists and turns that a Chinese kungfu drama which origniate in HongKong even though none of this has anything to do with anything..........

It gives me a headache.

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: OTR

Title kinda sums up the day. Uneventful. Wife bought me a chocolate cake, and my son and her helped me eat it.

Class is going OK....well, really I won't know how "WELL" it is really going until I get the grade on the paper I just turned in. Business Law.....right up there in excitement value with studying the names and batting averages of all the Tokugawa Shoguns.

Still waiting for the WinXP and Voyager DVDs my friend supposedly sent me from America. Been 4 weeks now. Starting to worry. I needs me Voyager to keep me sane. Startrek TNG just don't do it for me anymore.....not since 7 of 9 and her two twins.

Back to studying law.

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: OTR

Natalija was sick today.....had a low grade fever so she stayed home from Hoikuen. Maybe it was the effect of the medicine but she was a raving shit-machine today.....5 BIG load in 7hrs!!! That, coupled with other such exciting occurences like the yoghurt facial she gave herself made me somehow understand why some animals eat their young. Needless to say, I got absolutely no studying done for Law 529.

Kevin's been helping me by running errands to the market but there is only so much a 7 1/2yr old can do. Really wish he could have bought me a beer. Guess I'll have to wait 13 more years for that.

Tomorrow's my birthday. Bought a book for myself. Doubt if anyone other than my Mom will remember. Well, I take that back. Kevin did remind me that tomorrow is my birthday, but I suppose that's as far as that will go.

I made a nice discovery: my new company has a really nice liquor shop near to it. By nice I mean that they sell Chimay there at a really nice price. While I only go into the office about 2 times a month, is enough.....I will try to pick up 4 bottles each time.....that is about as much as I would drink in a 2 week period.

My former boss still has the audacity to telephone me asking me where such and such a file is, or how to do xyz. Blood is thicker than water and Fujita is thicker than most. If I had enough money, I would buy KDS just so I could fire the bastard.

We have a new pope. A German....no....a Bavarian. It always amazes me how Indians can be such good computer programmers but not Germans. From my perspective and experience, Germans are by far the most BINARY people on the planet. There are no shades of grey with them.....it is either Weiss or Schwarz. Well, he's 78, so I doubt he'll be around for 26yrs. Still, maybe as Benedict the whatever he will mellow. Time will tell

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: OTR

I suppose that 6months of a hell job have had a detrimental impact on my psyche, even though my friend Miki assures me that I was already FUBAR long before I entered Daishinku. In any event, I have escaped. Now to erase the tattoo from my forearm and to tear this yellow star off my chest. Tomorrow I start another job, again involved with crystals.....as they say Crystal engineers do it with much frequency until it megahertz.......dorky I know. This one I take according to MY desire. If/when my new boss becomes a total wanker, I quit without concern as to who gets reamed as a result. I will no longer play the role of a Japanese in giving all to the company while foresaking everything else. If one thing my friend Mike told me when he came out is that you have to be honest to yourself. Wise advice, albeit I'd never tell him that......his ego could stand to be knocked down a couple of notches anyway.

Wednesday I resume my MBA classes with UOP. Next class is Business Law 525 or some such gradiose sounding class. At least if/when I fall asleep during class, my snoring won't disturb anyone. Sometimes internet classes are really convenient...not just because you can attend class in your underwear (or so I hear), but it is exceptionally convenient. I just hope that if/when I get my degree, I will see a boost in income.

Natalija is sick. She caught a cold. 38.5C. I wish I could take away her pain. She is my joy. 15months old and she already has me wrapped around her finger.

Kevin is preparing for first communion. As far as kids go, he has a heart better than most. I still remember when a collection for the victims of the Tsunami was being taken up. He asked the lady taking up the collection why she wanted the money. She explained it to him. Kevin heard this and then came and told me. Tears welled up in his eyes as he told me. They welled up in mine as I saw his caring. He asked me if he could donate money and I said YES. He took Y100 from his own allowance of his own volition and donated it. I don't know what to say except he made me so proud of him; he is such a good kid. I hope he will never lose this purity.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: OTR

Point #1
After 6 months of slavery at Daishinku (大辛苦 is the correct way to write it IMHO), I have finally quit. By my calculations, with all the unpaid overtime I was forced to work, the actual length of service amounted to 8 months. How this company can be rated #3 among all crystal companies in sales revenue can best be understood by the fact that all the overtime goes unpaid. In the last 6 months, I have changed into someone I don't much like. I should have known that a company that has a 46% employee turnover rate PER YEAR is not a company I should work for. And, the division I worked for has a 85% turnover rate, all due to the sociologically retarded Kacho being qualified to be Kacho only because he is married to the President's sister. Anyway, I now am catching up with reaquainting myself with my Wife, Son, and Daughter, while finishing off my MBA. Now more than ever I believe managers should manage by example and not by bullying.

Point #2
Ojciec święty Papież Jan Paweł II do widzienia. I have no words to convey my sorrow/hurt/abandonment. The last time I felt like this was when Mother Teresa of Calcutta died. Whoever the new pope will be, he will have some mighty big shoes to fill. I so wish Patriarch Alexei II wasn't so hard-headed in rejecting JP II's overtures towards unity. I really wish East and West could have at least taken further steps to end the schism. Anyway, enough on this.

Point #3
A good friend just "came out" (don't know if this is the correct term anymore, but I shall use it nevertheless). Not exactly sure why he made such a big deal about it. It's his life and the path he has chosen to travel. I also don't know why he thought it would impact my friendship with him, but it does give me a whole new batch of things I can ridicule him about. Besides, it's not like he suddenly registered as a REPUBLICAN or became a "born again bible thumping" type.....kinda think this is not likely anymore. The only thing I did say to him is to be careful and take precautions not to catch anything really nasty. It hurts too much to bury a friend. (further note - because of this kurwa, I wound up with a nasty hang-over the following day.....got to remember that I owe him a hangover the next time I see him).

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Slovak Radio

New job, new responsibilities, new challenges, new culture. Very interesting.....lots of work, shitty salary, but at least I am not unemployed. Been travelling more in two weeks than I travelled in all of 2003. I wonder when I can stop and take a breath.

Current Mood: weird
Current Music: No music......DS9

Com502 nearly over 1.5k word paper due in 24hrs......I have about 200words written all BS. Burnout.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: something French

I haven't posted anything for quite awhile. Life has been kicking me regularly first in the balls, then the head, then the balls.....you get the picture. My office in Japan is closing. My parent company told me that they would no longer pay my salary. I told them that the minute they stop paying, that is when I quit, yet they have the audacity to say they want a month's notice. I wish I were kidding here. In any event, I will either be taking a position at AOR or Daishinku. Each has profound merits and demerits. AOR is not all that stable. Daishinku is kechi. Anyway, I will be calling one of these companies home pretty soon. At the same time all this shit is swarming, I am bogged down with work in my MBA class. Organization 502....I recommend this to anyone who has no need of sleep, or a life beyond sitting in front of a computer terminal churning out papers. And, I have been contacted by a number of people asking to use my fonts for languages now being considered by unicode 4.whatever. I thought about fully giving in to my schizophrenia in the hope that two of me would get twice as much work done. I also thought about cloning myself to do this as well, but figured the extra food bill and having to put up with myself on a daily basis just wasn't worth the effort.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: humm of the CPU fan

1) Harumi's Birthday
2) Mother's Birthday
3) Kids' Birthdays.....OK....that's it for birthdays.

4) Never get into a cyber-peeing match with a person who knows that he knows everything, and that which he doesn't know he feels justified in taking poetic license and making up as he sees fit.

5) Never assume that your bosses are smart enough to figure out that THEY are the ones who fucked up the order, especially when they are the ones initiating the present blamestorming session. (addena - Never bring proof to the blamestorm session that shows that your boss, the one who called the meeting is actually the one who screwed the pooch)

6) Never think that 400g of Kimchi will burn less exiting than it did enterring.

OK.....that's all my brain can handle for one day

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: The Corr's "Breathless"

Japanese TV is plastered with photos from the now infamous Abu Ghraib camp. I am sure even farmers in Andhra Pradesh who's TVs run on cow dung have even seen it. As the jingle goes...."Be all you can be, in the ARMY". Or, "It's not just a job, it's an adventure". 35yrs ago, kids who weren't rich enough to buy their way out, or weren't smart enough to get college deferments, or couldn't speak Canadian, or ran out of deferments were sent to fight in Vietnam. Atrocities happened. Still, most of those kids didn't even want to be in the military, let alone VN. They were drafted. As for the kids now in Iraq, they joined the military BY CHOICE. Nobody forced them to join. For this reason, and this reason alone, I cannot forgive them, nor their commanders for the atrocities. We kept hearing Iraqis talking about being maltreated by US forces, and we said, "nah....just Iraqi anti-US propaganda". Have we learned anything? Probably not. Next election, if Bush is elected president again, it will confirm this. 2 years ago, HE said our reasons for going into Iraq were to find WMD and Al-Qaeda members. Last week in a damage-control speech, the reason he gave was that it was to remove Saddam. Repugnant, repugnant, repugnant.

Current Mood: Thoroughly disgusted
Current Music: who cares..

I am probably counting my chickens before they are hatched, as these kind of plans usually fall flat on my face but....I have applied for a very lucrative job position, paying mid 8 figures in Yen. That's mid 6 figures in real money. The downside is that I would have to relocate to Aichi Prefecture. That's like having to relocate from California or NY to Omaha. Since Kevin has already entered school and is making friends, I really don't want to uproot him, as it may be too traumatic. Harumi is against this job, so............ah, but I won't get it anyway...who am I kidding? Still, it is nice that I am being considered for such a position. I guess there is hope afterall.

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: OTR

Lots of shit has passed under the bridge....some flowing out to sea, other bigger chunks getting stuck on the support beams. In the past two weeks, I have had my salary cut 45%, quit, been unemployed, been rehired, had my salary increased (roughly meaning I took an overall 20% cut), had my responsibilities doubled, had responsibilities taken away, accepted to grad school, called for a job interview, and got caught in a rain storm. At one time, I might let all of this overwhelm me, but not anymore. Whatever happens will happen. I could bitch and complain, but that only wastes energy. In any event, I will have my Master's in 2 years if all goes well, and then maybe I can recoup the 20% cut. It is fortunate that Harumi and Kevin support me in this effort. I will do my best not to disappoint them.
Goldenweek begins in 4 days, so does my first class. Time to get back into scheduled and structured study. Guess I'd better stock up on lots of coffee.

Current Mood: tired

Dingus day. Didn't get to whip any girls with a switch, nor did I have any water thrown on me. I don't know what the future will bring. Harumi, Kevin, Natalija....I want them to be proud of me; I want to provide for them, but the present economic depression is making that very difficult. If I return to the US, it will take Kevin away from his school and friends. It will take Harumi away from her family. Natalija is too young to be really affected, but the prospect of having my daughter grow up in the US frankly scares me. While Japan is far from safe, it is not the virtual war zone that the US has become. Over here, there is virtually no chance of either of my kids being killed by a stray bullet from a gang fight, or freeway shooting, or being kidnapped, raped and/or killed. Still, if I cannot support my family here, then I am left with no alternative but to return; Safety is necessary for a quality life.....but then again, so is food. Too much thought for today.

Current Mood: pessimistic

I've been pondering as to why it's called "Good Friday". Actually this pondering started 2 wks ago with Orthodox "Good Friday", i.e. Julian calendar.....as if I don't already have enough trouble keeping days straight with one calendar. Anyway...around 2k years ago, a guy was proported to have been nailed to a tree because he said subversive things like "Love your neighbor as yourself", "Pray for your enemies", and other such things. Bet he'd really go over well with the Homeland Securities peoples.....especially being from the Mideast and all. Well...."Good Friday" doesn't seem to have been all that good for him, whatnot. So, on this day, I shall stop and be thankful that I wasn't the one nailed to a tree to make this day good.

Current Mood: grateful

Tomorrow, Kevin enters elementary school. I have mixed feelings...one of joy and pride of now entering school, the other of just how sad it will be for Kevin to have is individuality slowly stripped and purged out of him. DVDcam is ready for the ceremony, but not my psyche. My baby is growing up. It was only yesterday when he puked yoghurt into my ear (probably something he will likely immitate again in college....hopefully NOT MY ear next time), or pointed to busses saying "ah-ooh"...since his first words were "mama", "ah-ooh", and "papa" in that order. Whatever he does with his life, as long as he tries his best he will make me proud. OK...I will not be pleased if he becomes a republican, a muslim, or marries a Russian, but he is my son, and I will never stop loving him no matter what he does. I just pray to God that I will live long enough to corrupt Kevin's kids.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: OTR

Recently, I have been so swamped with work that I usually don't know if it is morning or night. Today, I thought I might have a little respite by finally renewing Kevin's passport and registering Natalija's birth (and getting a passport for her too). It took the greater part of the day, from standing in a long line, being searched, being questioned, being asked why my son is an American citizen, but doesn't speak English....they didn't like it when I said that he'll speak English only if you pay him 10yen per word. I don't know why this irritated them, as that is how much he charges me. Anyway, after getting inside, submitting all the 15 different forms which Harumi and I filled out over the course of the last two days, making the revisions, resubmitting forms that were obsoleted between me downloading them last week and today, AND after having to shell out $175 in administration and registration fees (yes US$), I finally will get Kevin's & Natalija's passports, her Soc.Sec. card, and her US citizen abroad birth certificate....in 3 months. I am thoroughly drained. This is such a big hastle, that it isn't worth having another child. Not as though we have planned to have more, but the inscentive for NOT having more kids was thoroughly reinforced by my experience at the embassy. Condoms, "the Pill", vasectomies, no....the best birth control is the thought of having to confront the US embassy registration gauntlet again.
Now I will proceed to colapse.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: random Cello pieces.

Kevin graduated Houikuen today. Apparently Japanese make a big deal about this as it is the last time they get to play until they enter college. Anyway, I took 4hrs off from work so I could attend the graduation ceremony. Had just enough DV to record the "important" stuff, namely Kevin getting his diploma, songs, skits and a small recitation. I mean.....only 30seconds left on the tape, that's really cutting it close. Afterward we came home and changed cloths, and there were 15 faxes and e-mails from various irritating coworkers wanting to know where the hell I was. So, while everyone else was eating Sushi, I had to sit in front of my computer and fill their requests. After about an hour, I was caught up enough to actually take 10min and scarf down the sushi leftovers, then back to work. I am just now finishing and will definitely have the phone set on NO RING tomorrow. I am sure the China office will be calling me, but I really don't want to talk to them. These 18hr days have finally caught up with me and are thrashing me about the knoggin. When I was a student, I was poor but had quite a bit of free time. I envied people with money, toys, and jobs that gave them that kind of money to buy the toys. Now that I have one of those jobs that give me that kind of money, I look at my toys and think to myself "wouldn't it be nice to be able to have time enough to play with them". Ah, but that job might soon be gone, so........whatever will be, will be.

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: the whirr of my computer's CPU fan

In a burst of uncontrolled kaufenlust, I went ahead and plonked down $30 and now have the complete Series 2 Star Trek ship set. I somehow feel satiated, but at the same time unfulfilled. The ships don't actually do anything, other than look cool and take up space. I asked Miki if this is a symptom of MLC (Mid-Life Crisis), but he assured me that since I haven't been seeking out young highschool girls and/or trying to buy a Porsche, I haven't entered MLC. Miki says he has entered MLC and has been hanging out there for the past 5yrs, but still doesn't have enough money for the Porsche, and won't settle for a Beemer. Ok, whatever.
This weekend, the Sakura will saku. Shiki-san and I will go to Hodogaya Kouen on Sunday, along with our sons. We will sit watching them terrorize anyone/anything they can, while we sit under cherry trees, drinking sake, and watching the petals flutter to the ground.....that is, if it doesn't rain. 4 days ago it was 70 degrees. 3days ago, it got cold, 2days ago it snowed, yesterday it yucked (a Canadian term meaning not snow, not rain - something in between). Today, it is raining. Tomorrow it will rain, too. I am so looking forward to going for Hanami. I guess it is time to hang out the Teruteru Bozu.
Natalija is growing nicely. She is able to sit up for 10min or so, before sliding either left or right. She is so cute: she already smiles at Papa and duly has me wrapped around her little finger. When I wash her or play with her, she giggles and laughs....really pushes my troubles away for awhile. This is reinforcing my resolve to not let her date until she is 25. I wonder if this is a tad too strict.........nah.

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: JSBach

Today, 8/Mar/2004, Furuta released their 2nd series of Star Trek ships....I bought 4. I wouldn't call myself a Trekky, but I do enjoy looking at the ships...for some reason, they make me happy. And, being the manic compulsive that I am, I won't be satiated until I have all in the 2nd series as well. My wife just thinks I'm nuts. Where buying a new cabinet, purse, pair of shoes might make her happy, for me....toys. Toys (among other things) make me happy. They make Kevin happy too. Kevin understands that when Papa is happy, he will often buy Kevin-kun something as well, thus making Kevin very happy. Y250 for a ship versus Y12,000 for a cabinet, purse, etc...hmm....can't really put a price tag on happiness. Anyway, I am now happy. Of course, I want the remaining 7 ships to complete the series, but I can wait....at least until tomorrow. Afterall, I am not completely obsessed :P .
On a different note, I helped a friend with his fonting endeavor. I don't know if I convinced him that his font's fundamentals are better than a similar font I sent him. He seemed depressed because of it. He shouldn't. Just looking at his font, I can tell with some clean-up, it will look more like a manuscript font than the already existant font. It's a really good start...I hope the fonts I sent him won't discourage him from completing it.
Lastly, the herbal tea (I can't remember its name) while tasting like saccarin mixed with rust, is actually working against my Cedar allergy. The only side effect is that instead of spending every 10 minutes in a sneezing fit, I am spending it draining the snake. I guess this is what is meant by TRADEOFFS.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Kaori Muraji "Resplandor de la guitarra"